Thursday, April 30, 2009

Chasing Narnia


DISCLAIMER: this is NOT a therapy session blog post.

Do you ever feel happy? I mean, REALLY stupid, substance-free induced, happy? So happy that one may feel compelled to frolic in order to release said happiness? I know that this type of happiness might be difficult to comprehend in these times of impending doom (swine flu, economic collapse, N. Korea, Afghanistan, pirates, Obama's First 100 Days, etc.), but after watching the first 40 seconds of one of the trailers on the Simpson's Movie DVD, I can confidently say: It does exist and it is HILARIOUS.

Other local happiness locations:

1. West Fest in West, TX in a field of mushrooms - with one in glasses and with a mushrump:



2. Possibly at one of Jesse's Law prof's house - the term "Narnia" did surface while we were there for an advocacy teams dinner...

3. The original Narnia in McLean, VA at the Barringer Southern Grounds.

PS: Hans Zimmer's Spider Pig Theme is AMAZING.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Most Depressing Christmas Carols Ever

Whilst neglecting my studies just now, I ran into this impressive mix of Nine Inch Nails songs performed to the tune of our favorite Christmas standards. Make sure to hang in there for "I hurt myself today, pa rum pum pum pum."

The Worst Hundred Days

Mustaches, Foreheads, and Jowls - oh my! Although we may feel lost in the woods as the U.S. has definitely seen better days, we have also seen many worse. But, I wonder what milestone excuse the media will use next to talk about Obama..The Second Hundred days? The day after the First Hundred days?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A Chilling Specter: Love to See Him Go, Hate to Watch Him Leave

For years Arlen Specter has been a thorn in the side of conservative Republicans. I personally know hard-core pro-lifers who even stopped supporting Bush when he raised money for Specter in 2004. Frankly, a great many Republicans are pleased to see him leave the party, as he today announced he will to run as a Democrat in the 2010 Pennsylvania Senate race. After all, he did vote essentially as a Democrat over 40% of the time. But his departure is obviously a huge blow for Republicans in Pennsylvania and nationwide.

Much has been said already about the impact Specter's jump will have in the Senate. The Democrats now have a solid filibuster proof majority. Between retirements and primary challenges, it will likely grow by a seat or two this cycle. But this is a reality we've been dealing with for weeks and months. What concerns me most is the future trend this switch signals.

After our loss in November, pundits opined that the Republicans would split in twain, probably into a fringe right-wing and a moderate mainstream party. And everyone could agree, at least, that some major reworking was in order. What Specter's switch tells me, however, is that between Obama's tent pole popularity and the tarnished Republican brand, every moderate voice could be pushed from our ranks and into the Dems' waiting arms. If you don't believe me, take a look at Texas in the 80's. As Democrats found themselves to the right of their party core and felt the winds change, they jumped ship in droves. Our current joke of a governor is one such opportunist. The personal popularity of the Republican president was a major factor in these decisions, as was the far left's refusal to find a middle ground and give their candidates some political cover.

Today, the far right of our party refuses to accept reasonable solutions to the immigration problem. They label anything short of outright exodus “amnesty.” Some in our party have carried the banner of fiscal conservatism so far to the right any combination of “government,” “spending,” or “taxes” might as well be a four letter word. We've let ourselves be defined by a few ultra-polarized issues, like abortion, and shortchanged our immense collective wisdom on a host of other issues.

Who's next out the door? Anyone to the left of Attilla the Hun? And don't think it's not a witchhunt--our Texas governor's led the charge against “not Republican enough” legislators himself. In a couple election cycles we won't be a conservative coalition, just a few of nuts clinging to our guns and religion, and yammering about succession.

Pistols for Pandas


'Cause it's a good cause.

One Flu Over The Swine-Pig's Nest

Monday, April 27, 2009

How Swine Infect Humans

Yes, more Swine Flu humor through "art"... I feel like there should be a joke about pork barrel spending here...

Friday, April 24, 2009

Pigs CAN Fly

Apparently, pigs can fly (with the help of birds) - that's how the sneaky avians created swine flu in their secret sky labs.

Also, doesn't Avian Flu just sound better? I mean, Swine Flu? Really?


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Let's Give a Cheer for the U of NT!

In reading the North Texas Newsletter, I noticed a small article about a larger than life UNT Alumnus, Francis Stroup:

"UNT fight song composer and alumnus Francis Stroup is featured on the New York Times web site, sharing his story about starting his career in the Depression era and his days in Denton and Golden, Texas. Music always has been a part of his life, and when he entered 'Fessor Floyd Graham's contest for a marching song, he crafted 'Fight, North Texas.' After graduating in 1929, Dr. Stroup went on to teach and eventually became a professor of physical education at Northern Illinois University. This year will mark his 100th birthday, his 80th class reunion and the 70th anniversary of the adoption of 'Fight, North Texas.'"

Here is a link to him discussing the Great Depression and college job market during that time.

Robots That We've Known and Loved

I got a new computer this week (I'll probably have more on that later), and it's got me thinking a lot about where technology will take us in the future. I mean seriously, how much longer do I have to wait for my hover car and robot butler?! In the interim, here's a list of the coolest fictional robots. Submit your own favorites in the comments.

Johnny 5
INPUT! What law student couldn't identify with this little guy? Plus he taught us important lessons about the nature of life, love, and why you don't piss off a sentient military prototype.





Data
He's positronically awesome. Case in point, this poker game. Why is he not a Fleet Admiral by now? He's got an emotion chip and everything!




Bender
"Je suis Napoleon!" But he's Mexican. Crazy robot!





Alphie II
In all candor, I learned half of the Kindergarten curriculum from this smiling, light-up teacher.




Optimus Prime
Yeah, bite that Megatron. You just got beat by a bunch of cars from the 80's. That's the worst car decade, except for the DeLorean. And it turns out that car actually sucks, too!





R. Daneel Ovilaw
It took a genius like Asimov to create a genius like Daneel. Read the books and you'll get where I'm coming from.

Knutty Newt

In 2007, Newt Gingrich coauthored A Contract With The Earth - a probusiness approach to proenvironment initiatives. While I have not read the book, I applaud the Former Speaker's efforts to promote Green Conservatism - a passion that both Jesse and I share. Conservation, new green technologies, and recycling go hand in hand with the conservative movement - by saving resources we save money, a green revolution can be launched through the innovations of industry.

Here is a rhetorical video on Green Conservatism - heavy on the marketing, heavy on the awesome.



Chuckle worthy afterthought: "Newt has liked animals and zoos since he was a little boy." Because nothing says conservation like animals in concrete cages.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

For Your Brainicle

The May issue Wired features Brain Teasers/puzzles! So, if you are looking for a distraction, here is a link to each puzzle:

Digidoku Answer Key Secret Codons Answer Key
Thanks for the Memories Answer Key Color Scheme Answer Key
Pick Nine Answer Key Bearing the Weight Answer Key
Mixed Signals Answer Key Mismatched Episode Titles Answer Key
Split Screen Answer Key 25 Non-Random Things About Me Answer Key
Game Changers Answer Key Six Little Words Answer Key
Shades of Gray Answer Key Two for the Price of One Answer Key

Font Etiquette: Comic Sans What?

You. How dare you use this font!

Apparently, there is large underground movement to remove Comic Sans from Microsoft fonts due to "inappropriate" use - such as composing serious emails, signage, Beanie Babies tags, etc. when the original intent was for comic strip word bubbles.

The movement has gained significant momentum - enough to attract the WSJ:

"Typefaces convey meaning, typographers say. Helvetica is an industry standard, plain and reliable. Times New Roman is classic. Depending on your point of view, Comic Sans is fun, breezy, silly or vulgar and lazy."

Intense, WSJ.

The Ban Comic Sans Movement has a website with an ever so clever slogan "putting the sans in comic sans."

For more background on this infontjustice, here is a link to the wikipedia article.

Yes. There is a T-Shirt.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Rubrik's Cuba?

Puzzling indeed.

First, the Obama handshake/gift exchange = a media slap in the face. Most politicians and pundits are all up in arms about the handshake, but what about the actual gift Chavez gave to Obama? Here ya go Obama, here's a book about the history of Latin America, as you obviously know nothing about the region. Yeah, that's offensive. The handshake can easily be played off as Obama's commitment to respecting foreign nations.

Also, I admit that I am not an expert on Latin America, but I do agree with Michael Barone that Obama's priorities seem discombobulated:

"As Barack Obama finishes up his second major foreign tour, a pattern in his approach to foreign policy seems to be emerging. On pressing matters of obvious importance, he has made responsible decisions that have not been far out of line with the policies of his predecessor and current necessities. But when it comes to seting priorities for the future, he has chosen to emphasize initiatives that seem more appropriate to situations America faced in his college years, the late 1970s and early 1980s, than to the threats America faces today...

In 1961, the year Obama was born, Cuba was a central preoccupation of American foreign policy. Today Cuba (population 11 million) is not a major problem. Meanwhile, the Obama administration violates the North American Free Trade Association treaty by banning trucks from Mexico (population 109 million), refuses to ratify the free-trade agreement with Colombia (population 44 million), and, despite our need for alternative fuels, makes no move to rescind the 54-cent tariff on sugar ethanol from Brazil (population 191 million).

Obama campaigned as the candidate of hope and change. But on pressing matters he has, responsibly, not produced as much change as many of his supporters expected. And in setting priorities, he seems to be heading back to the distant past, to the disarmament debates of the 1970s and 1980s, to the frenzy over Cuba in 1961-62. Is that the change we need?
"

As cold war bunkers are being turned into mansions, Mr. Barone offers an interesting debate topic. Ms. Lanier, do you have any enlightening words of wisdom about Latin America foreign policy as a scholar of Brazil? Thoughts on Cuba?

Mary Not OK

I recognize that Mary K offers a great career for women and helps to empower women to provide for themselves while also taking care of a family, etc. BUT. Please do not solicit Mary K products to me on Facebook or Twitter - I accepted you as a friend, not as a sales rep. I'll poke you, not you poke me. Booya.

Critics Agree - Old TV Is Better Than New TV

Just because it sounds like an Onion headline doesn't make it not true. Don't you hate it when a new show looks great in the ads, and then it bites? It seems like the networks tempt this phenomenon when they bill new shows like they're the next "Office" or "Family Guy." Inevitably, this comparison backfires when viewers realize, "Well that first show they mentioned is pretty good, but this new tripe just doesn't stack up." A couple of examples.

NBC is rockin' the funny these days with shows like "The Office" and "30 Rock." So they tried to duplicate their success by combining the two. The recipe goes: "Mix one very funny SNL cast member, a talented ensemble cast, and an everyday situation ripe with hilarity. Pour into a long ago played out mockmentary format, and bake for 30 minutes. Yield: Horseshit." My fellow critics and I (mostly Diana and Justin) had high hopes for this show because it mocks the oh-so-serious-my-job-is-changing-the-world types in local government. But as Diana points out, "The Office" worked because most people have worked in an office environment. They get the characters and the irony, even if they don't laugh at every joke. In "Parks & Rec," though, the show fails to find a toehold of understanding with its audience. More people identify with the bitchy citizens at the town hall meeting than with Amy Poehler's zany city employee persona. She's almost forced to dumb down every line, and deliver all her own punchlines.

No, you shut up! FOX's newest addition to the Sunday night Animation Domination lineup is "Sit Down, Shut Up." This is yet another network's attempt to relive past glory by rehashing a winning formula. FOX has a whole stable of edgy cartoons, but "The Simpsons" is losing steam, "Family Guy" is too disjointed and left-wing preachy to pull in new viewers, "King of the Hill" is over the hill (and cancelled), and "American Dad" is struggling to find it's place now that it can't really mock Bush. (Brief aside, for someone who disagrees that the Simpsons are slipping, check out Justin's new 742 Evergreen Terrace blog. Another brief aside, I can't belive they already gave that self-righteous jerk Seth McFarlane two shows. And now he's going to get a Cleveland spin-off? Seriously, he's got Arianna Huffington playing a talking bear. Prediction: Crap.) After watching the pilot last night, all I can say is that "Sit Down, Shut Up" is a hamfisted attempt to replicate the humor of it's superior predecessor. Just because you have famous actors voice cartoon characters who make dirty jokes doesn't mean your show's going to be any good. The biggest disappointment is that reportedly the show comes from the "Arrested Development" producers (believable, since both Jason Bateman and Will Arrnett are in the cast).

I'm not going to get into the ridiculous promo's they've run for this stuff. My favorite is one for the new cop show "Southland," which the announcer tells us has been hailed as the "ER" of cop shows. That's an easy comparison, seeing as the show is by the producers of "ER" and in "ER's " old time slot. Are they even trying this year? Oh you know, what with the economy and all. The writers strike was better than this!

The only new show I've really enjoyed is a drama, "Kings." It's a modern interpretation of the King David story, replete with surprisingly well written Old Testament references. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but the show manages to find some very powerful moments somewhere on the line between completely ridiculous alternative history and overblown religious melodrama (i.e., "Left Behind"). Unfortunately, it looks like NBC has moved the show to a graveyard Saturday slot, which has got me riled. It's "Studio 60" all over again! The show's on Hulu, so I'll leave the rest to your own judgement.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Never, Ever Loan Me Your Car

I am an excellent driver. I use my turn signals, I never rely on my mirrors alone, and I almost always obey the posted speed limit. Yet as of today, I have been in 6 accidents, none of them my fault. Seriously, not 24 hours after I registered Little Red down at the tax office, a Baylor undergrad cut me off and we swapped some paint. I'm ok, the car's ok--but my pride may be wounded forever. How did things get so bad?

Accident #1, Spring 2002
I'm driving my 1983 Oldsmobile Delta 88 southbound on Hulen in Ft. Worth. I come up to a red light, and try to stop. The brakes fail. SMASH! I've totally smeared the side of an old lady's Cadillac. Her airbags go off, bruising her arm and drawing blood. I'm technically at fault, even though it's a mechanical failure. I feel awful and vow to be the world's safest driver from now on.

Accident #2, Fall 2004
I'm headed to an intramural football game at the Peterbuilt fields, southbound on Bonnie Brae in my 1990 Civic DX. This car is so base model that it left the factory without a right-side rearview mirror. As I approach a blinking yellow light at the I-35 access road, I slow to about 25 mph. SLAM! This girl just off her shift at Sack-N-Save doesn't understand that when she has the blinking red, she has to yield to the traffic with the blinking yellow. Still doesn't believe that she's at fault even as the officer hands her a ticket. My driver's side headlight now points into the sky, and later that night somebody smashes in my back windshield. Coincidence?

Accident #3, Winter 2004
I'm driving north on Locust, approaching the Square just after 10pm when they switch the traffic lights to blink mode. Just as I get to Hickory, BAM! Another girl who didn't pay attention during drivers ed. You. Have. To. Stop. At. A. Blinking. Red. Light. I couldn't believe it'd happened again. As we exchange information, her passenger (a nervous little dude dressed like he's going to a Ramone's concert) overhears that I've called the cops to get a report. He gives the girl a hug and runs off full speed. Now both headlights point in odd directions, the whole front end is askew, and I've still got sheets of plastic and duct tape for a back windshield. Believe it or not, Diana and I went on our first date in this car.

2005-2007 I drive a 1995 Mazda Millenia until the transmission explodes. Great car, lots of features...and I never wrecked it!



Accident #4, Spring 2007
On a trip home from DC, I'm driving my mom's truck back from Diana's parent's in McKinney. Today, there is a stoplight at the intersection of Eldorado and Alma. Then, there was only a stop sign for the Alma traffic. As I move through the intersection, CRASH! Some Realtor on her cell phone decides that a Lexus should always get the right of way. Wrong! She's at fault, and the cop writes me a ticket for no insurance, even though it's my mom's car, she's got insurance, and I've got permission to drive it. I got the ticket dismissed, but then the Bar send me a nasty letter for not reporting it to Baylor, even though Baylor specifically told me not to report auto violations. Ugh. Also the only accident in which I've ever been injured--minor whiplash. I should have known something with AIG when they took forever to pay my chiropractor.

Accident #5, Summer 2008
I got to school one morning and realized I'd forgotten my briefs for Property. So I run back to the house to get them in the Isuzu. I'm chilling at the Valley Mills/Bagby light when CRUNCH! A big old Expedition slams into the rear of the car. Her hood is rumpled, and our tailgate is shot. When the cop shows up, it turns out the lady has insurance under an assumed name and listed her mom's address on all the paperwork. I e-mail the Fuse to tell her I'm not going to make it to class. Thankfully the insurance came through, and now the Isuzu sports a cool harlequin look.

Accident #6, Spring 2009
Yesterday, we transferred the title to Little Red into our name. Today, less than 24 hours later and within 3 blocks of the county tax office where you register title, this Baylor kid decides he needs to come over a lane without checking his mirror. I wasn't even in his blind spot, I was right next to him! But BANG! he's got a big red mark on his Cadillac. Lucky for him, the cost to fix my paint would be the total value of the car, but it's the principle of the thing! I freaked him out with some lawyer talk, grilled the people in his car for their info, and then told him I wasn't going to do anything. Mainly I was mad that I couldn't find the horn in the "new" car fast enough to lay on it after he tagged me.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Talkin' Trash


And I'm not talkin' about the Homeland Security Department (although I probably should be) -I'm talkin' true garbage:

1. Jesse and I recently started a garden and compost - it's amazing! (and so is the air brushed picture above, courtesy of the EPA)

2. Wired.com is Tracing the Origins of Debris

3.

Morning Show Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris

I Want A Jet

So last night D and I were talking about our backup plan if one of the cars dies. This is a serious issue, considering that Little Red's going to roll over 200K some time this summer. We were thinking about SUVs, commuter cars, and that kind of thing, but clearly the best option is a jet. I mean think about it: Want to go to Denton for the weekend? 30 minutes away. Quick trip to CA? 2 hours. No checking bags, no packing up the dogs. Just smooth sailing.

Crazy, you say? Let's look at it objectively.
Pro: Awesomeness.
Con: I can't fly an airplane and we'd probably die in a gruesome and terrifying fashion.
Pro: Automatic prestige.
Con: We don't have a bajillion dollars.
Pro: No security check-in lines.
Con: F-16s will shoot us down because I have no idea how to file a flight plan and was pretty much just planning on flying around whereever.
Pro: Gulfstream V--welcome to the goody room.
Con: I think they take your plane away if you drink scotch while flying.

See? Great idea.

The Great Awakening

On March 11, 2009 Charles Murray delivered an intriguingly (but not surprisingly) intense speech at the AEI Annual Dinner. He described how as America is pushed towards the European model of society by it's politicians, that the American public will begin to resist more and more (until eventually overcoming this liberal movement through the endorsement of American elites). He deems this return a new "Great Awakening" by way of American exceptionalism:

"American exceptionalism is not just something that Americans claim for themselves. Historically, Americans have been different as a people, even peculiar, and everyone around the world has recognized it. I'm thinking of qualities such as American optimism even when there doesn't seem to be any good reason for it. That's quite uncommon among the peoples of the world. There is the striking lack of class envy in America--by and large, Americans celebrate others' success instead of resenting it. That's just about unique, certainly compared to European countries, and something that drives European intellectuals crazy. And then there is perhaps the most important symptom of all, the signature of American exceptionalism--the assumption by most Americans that they are in control of their own destinies. It is hard to think of a more inspiriting quality for a population to possess, and the American population still possesses it to an astonishing degree. No other country comes close.

Underlying these symptoms of American exceptionalism are the underlying exceptional dynamics of American life. Alexis de Tocqueville wrote a famous book describing the nature of that more fundamental exceptionalism back in the 1830s. He found American life characterized by two apparently conflicting themes. The first was the passion with which Americans pursued their individual interests, and made no bones about it--that's what America was all about, they kept telling Tocqueville. But at the same time, Tocqueville kept coming up against this phenomenal American passion for forming associations to deal with every conceivable problem, voluntarily taking up public affairs, and tending to the needs of their communities. How could this be? Because, Americans told Tocqueville, there's no conflict. "In the United States," Tocqueville writes, "hardly anybody talks of the beauty of virtue. . . . They do not deny that every man may follow his own interest; but they endeavor to prove that it is the interest of every man to be virtuous." And then he concludes, "I shall not here enter into the reasons they allege. . . . Suffice it to say, they have convinced their fellow countrymen."

The exceptionalism has not been a figment of anyone's imagination, and it has been wonderful. But it isn't something in the water that has made us that way. It comes from the cultural capital generated by the system that the Founders laid down, a system that says people must be free to live life as they see fit and to be responsible for the consequences of their actions; that it is not the government's job to protect people from themselves; that it is not the government's job to stage-manage how people interact with each other. Discard the system that created the cultural capital, and the qualities we love about Americans can go away. In some circles, they are going away."


Will Obama's new New Deal policies and reports of "right-wing extremists" push the country back to more conservative roots? Can American exceptionalism be claimed by the conservative movement?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Thursday, April 9, 2009

TheoThursday: Maundy Thrusday and Transubstantiation

Tonight Diana and I (and my sister Michelle visiting from Austin!) had the opportunity to experience something neither of us had ever seen before--a Maundy Thursday service. After witnessing this mysterious and beautiful litgurgy, I am amazed that I've missed out on it for all these years. We're all familiar with Holy Week and the events leading up to Jesus' death and resurrection. Palm Sunday and Easter are both joyous events that fall on a Sunday, so most Christians have experienced them both as a part of their regular church life. And I think most Christians are familiar with Good Friday, even though some denominations don't really observe the day. But Maundy Thursday is, unfortunately, often overlooked.

With all that this service commemorates, missing it as part of your Holy Week and Easter observance is kind of like playing Game 7 of the World Series without Games 2-6. On this day, Christ showed us servant leadership and as he washed his disciples feet and gave them his greatest commandment (or mandatum, from which we get the wordy maundy): "...love one another. Just I have loved you, you also should love one another." (John 13:34) On this day, Christ instituted a memorial to his coming Passion, the Eucharist or Communion, that we may celebrate salvation. And on this day, Christ was betrayed by someone he loved and trusted, and went willingly to his death on our behalf. Wow!

As the service started, the evening sun shone through the altar window at St. Alban's and beautifully illuminated an image of Christ the Lamb. But the sun set as the service ended and as the altar was stripped in preparation for Good Friday, and the light went out. I couldn't help but draw a parallel between the darkness in that window, and the darkness of Christ's betrayal. But just like on Good Friday, we can celebrate on this sad night knowing that it is really the beginning of the Easter miracle.

While we're on the subject of miracles, Jeff spoke tonight about the deep joy he finds in taking Communion (thanks to Maundy Thursday!), and it got me to thinking about my own Communion experience. Like everyone else, sometimes in church I'm tired, or stressed, or grumpy, or otherwise feeling less than Christ-like. I'll fidget in my seat, or my mind will wander during the readings. But without fail, after I take Communion every weight lifts from my shoulders and I return to my seat calm, satisfied, and happy. Dopey, smiley-faced happy. If I were Catholic, I might attribute this to the doctrine of Transubstantiation, the idea that the bread and wine actually become the flesh and blood of Jesus, which I ingested. But I'm not convinced that the Holy Spirit needs such mundane meta-chemistry to work. What say you, commentators? Do you agree with the Council of Trent, and believe in "that wonderful and singular conversion of the whole substance of the bread into the Body, and of the whole substance of the wine into the Blood." Or do you hold truck with Elizabeth I, who said that the doctrine "cannot be proved by holy Writ; but is repugnant to the plain words of Scripture, overthroweth the nature of a Sacrament, and hath given occasion to many superstitions?"

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Websurdity Wednesday: Zombie Scabs

Taking cue from Jesse Davis' alliterative themes + days of the week (see Theo Thursdays), I am trying out a new absurdity - Websurdity Wednesdays - to be filled with general ridiculousness. Are you asking yourself, "Self, what does that even mean?!" then you have successfully entered Websurdity Wednesday. Cheers!

Austin Powers takes over Slate.com title edits.

Celebrity Death Match: Communism v. Twitter (same idea, wired differently.)

Stress makes zombies. It's science. Be prepared or send a card.

Um, yeah, Wall Street, so do you need a bandaid or something? (Or will there be milkshake?)

Paint? Who needs paint when you can dribble blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick?



Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Marrying for Love....and Healthcare?

Recession madness continues, thanks to the NY Daily News! My 2 favorite quotes from the article:

1. I called to tell Adam the news. "Do you want me to cancel the dog walker?" he asked. I burst into tears.
2. "Are you looking for something in particular?" a salesgirl would ask. "Yes, actually," I'd say, "I'm getting married in Central Park in four hours."

Monday, April 6, 2009

We're Off to Mexico!

Rockets, Restrooms, and Radio Active Material

"This system of 50 symbol signs was designed for use at the crossroads of modern life: in airports and other transportation hubs and at large international events. Produced through a collaboration between the AIGA and the U.S. Department of Transportation, they are an example of how public-minded designers can address a universal communication need."

Apparently, the WSJ.com decided that we needed the North Korea dilemma explained in universal bathroom language...

In reference to the link above, I would like to tell another story:

Titled: Rockets, Restrooms, and Radio Active Material

1993: Mens Restrooms denied access to a Rocket. (silently).
1994: Talks forced Mens Restrooms hands.
1995, 1996, & 1997: The years were short, nothing happened.
1998: Except for in this short time, Mens Restrooms grew tired of the rocket's antics (explosions) and silently challenged the Rocket to a duel.
1999: The Rocket won.
2000: Four hands formed an alliance against Mens Restrooms and Rockets.
2001: A short year moved backwards in time.
2002: Two of the hands betrayed the other hands by secretly forming an alliance with Radio Active Material.
2003: Mens Restrooms and the Rocket spoke to each other for the first time. It did not end well. Rocket, you know Mens Restrooms doesn't speak Spanish!
2004: A short year moved backwards in time. Revisited.
2005: The denied Rocket, hurt by Mens Restrooms not speaking Spanish, sought comfort in the other Two Hands.
2006: The Two Hands had mentioned the partnership with Radio Active Material in '05, so the Rocket considered joining too, then x'd that idea, then pictured just himself and the Radio Active Material, then spoke this union out loud and liked it. Yes!
2007: The Two Hands, who had originally joined with Radio Active Material, were left alone (and exposed).
2008: Mens Restooms, in a fit of jealous rage, confronted the Rocket and Radio Active Material. Someone got denied.
2009: Yep. It was the Radio Active Material. Mens Restrooms and Rocket stand again!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Quit Your Dandelion Around!

Randy dandelions and their whorish ways:

Too Much Cock

Prepare for battle: final budget votes today! The GOP really had a chance to combat the O'budget but instead waited until the last minute to crank an alternative out. Now they're frantically trying to get press, but it's really too late...it's like they wanted to fail (but still be able to say "we offered an alternative"). Cop out. And the country is in desperate need of Republicans - especially in Hawaii. There's only one way to solve a rooster infestation and it's called "Operation Panda" (eats, shoots, and leaves).

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Letter to G20 Protesters

Dear G20 Protesters,

Let's discuss some of your propaganda materials...

1. If you want people to take you seriously, you should plan ahead. Disorganization/chaos won't win the hearts of millions - you just look sloppy. I mean, your protest was on the official schedule, so you should have had enough time to either plan your spacing better or redo the sign:

Also, you probably shouldn't be wearing green...

2. Choose effective visual aids, not ones that imply the better option to capitalism is a breadline:


3. Watercolors don't scare people. Not even ones that use Gargamel features to create caricatures:


4. Ok. G20 vomiting blood (or tongue) Money Monster is creepy. Bravo?

Love,
Me

PS - wsj.com makes an excellent point about the financial sytem not being capitalist enough...