Thursday, December 10, 2009


Whilst wiki-learning earlier today, I stumbled across the article for Bir Tawil, a tiny spit of land betwixt Egypt and Sudan that apparently neither country wants anymore. So I'm now accepting applications for the army I'm raising to take control of the Bir Tawil, which I will immediately declare an autocratic personal dominion of the Davis Dynasty. Guess what Vatican? There's a new micronation in town!

Doesn't seem like the place has a lot of natural resources, but it is named for a nearby water well. Maybe I'll build the world's largest sand volleyball pit. Or a gladiator pit. Or a giant statute of myself. One interesting question is what sort of law I'll impose...but basically I think I'll rule by fiat and ukase. Interesting that Osler also touched on this topic today.

Monday, December 7, 2009

SFW: Holiday Hi-Jinx

Aloha and Mele Kalikimaka, readers! This weekend the Missus and I did some holiday shopping in addition to our regular trip to H.E.B. for groceries. Hilarity and Scenes From Waco ensued!

At left are Peel N' Stick decals you can put on your window to spread holiday cheer in your neighborhood. The problem is, this snow-family is decidedly lacking in cheer. Mom's sweeping away, keeping the igloo tidy with a creepy Stepford grin on her face, while it looks like Dad is begrudgingly taking the snow-kid out to play catch or something. "Oh well," thinks Mom, "let it snow!" Snowkid is blissfully unaware of that his family unit is about to implode, as soon as Mom finds out about Dad's prurient interest in his secretary's sno-cones.

You know, I spent all last December looking for the perfect illuminated farm animal, but Target had what I needed the whole time! Light-up Santa Pig! And a steal at only $39.99. For the love of porkchops, who buys this stuff? Jesus was Jewish--there's no way he want's us to make Light-up Santa Pigs part of our lawn nativities.

Affirm: Undergarments for Judges. Not really holiday related, but I'm glad someone is finally recognizing the aging of our federal bench.

InTouch Magazine warns us, "It's Worse Than Anyone Knows." You're telling me, InTouch! Brad's beard is way out of hand! It's like his hair and designer clothes say "Hollywood A-lister," but his beard says "Could you spare some change or, in the alternative, some meth?"

I scratched my head for a bit, trying to figure out why this gas station Dr. Pepper machine is raised about two feet off the ground. Taller patrons? Nope. Floodwater? Good guess, but no. Only in Texas, my friends, will you find a drive-through Dr. Pepper machine. I kid you not.